I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
