Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
