Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
He felt like a one man threesome
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
