Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
lets start a swedish sibling band together
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
