dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
