We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
