I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Randomize
