i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
You did what with his pubic hair?
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