Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
