I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
