i would punch a child for taco bell
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
