I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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