Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
