i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
