Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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