So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
