Michael Bay diarrhea
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Never joke about your clitoris.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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