Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
