Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
