Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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