i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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