he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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