I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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