tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
