I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
