Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
