My hair reeks of homosexuality.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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