I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
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