i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
