You're a womanizer and a bitch.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
