I'm going to jail i love you
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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