That's intense
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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