Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Randomize
