its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
