I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
