cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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