Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
