Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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