I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
