is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
