dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Randomize
