I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
