walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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