i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Still dying that you shit outside
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
