Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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