I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
