Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
