why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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