I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
