TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Randomize
