I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
