We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
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