Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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