How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
